R.S.V.P. – répondez s’il vous plaît in relational terms means Reveals Substance of Veritable Professionalism; it is an invitation to respond. Ill-advised, ill- mannered, disconnected handling of an R.S.V.P. is to not respond. Granted there are times in life that demand a wise protocol of not responding, e.g., when slandered for no reason but that you are there and when saying anything will simply add “fuel to the other’s fire” rather move to solution. I am often reminded of President Ronald Reagan’s handling of reporters wishing to needle him or besmirch his motives. He would laugh and in the kindest, mirthful voice say something like, “Oh, that is just Dan (or Bill or Sue or…).”

When it come to R.S.V.P., I fear we as a culture have decided we do not have to honor an invitation to connect. I know that some of the R.S.V.P. requests are sales enticements to sit at a dinner and hear a sales presentation. However, R.S.V.P. does mean you can say no. The big point is your consistency, i.e., relational prowess and professionalism. Responding is a relational habit that tells others your consistent value of people, of dealing with the human spirit.

No one is exempt from needing others at some point and time. However, to respond only if you are going to participate, says you are considering other invitations are not from human beings trying each in his own way to make a connection with you. Some connections you don’t want to make. Say so in the kindest way possible by simply responding one way or the other to the invitation.

Exception: Email invitations that carry an R.S.V.P. are a whole other matter because they may be robotic spamming to get your email address verified. Understood. What we reference here is an invitation to connect in a place and from a person that can see you as an honored attendee or guest, e.g., community member willing to mentor high school kids, a person in our industry who can help form a new direction, a homeowner who might benefit from a new service, etc.

R.S.V.P. Yes or No when asked. It is the professional, right and humane thing to do. Life is about human connections. Remember your manners and at least respond!